Battle!

Amy and Sam are locked in an epic struggle, neither side willing to give an inch.

Sam is defending his ground against the best the enemy can do. In the end he is sure to lose, but he is making a brave stand. Poems should be written about it. His long held strategy is to unnerve the enemy, to get her to decide it's not worth it.

However his tactics have increased in desperation and cunning, as the enemy's resolve increases. Weeks ago it was enough to simply have a simple accident and the enemy would give up. Last week it required a clever ploy, urinating on clothes not yet worn. This really got under the enemy's skin. It was very unexpected as the enemy has not had experience fighting against the kinds of weapons Sam brings to the battle.

Sam's first plan today was to win simply by attrition. He tried to soil all available underpants as quick as possible. 2 hours and 10 underpants later he reached this objective only to find it did not break this enemies will. The battle continued without underpants.

As the day has progressed his tactics are reaching a remarkable level of psychological sophistication. His current method of operating is to hold it while on the potty seat and not release until 1 minute after getting off potty seat. One well timed operation involved making a second mess not 5 minutes after the first while the enemy had her head turned away just starting to clean up the first. This was indeed deeply disturbing to the enemy, however it did not bring a end to hostilities. Quite the opposite, now the enemies fire has been lit. The full force of her considerable strength of will has been brought to the battle now. Now the cold calculating side has overpowered the weaker emotional side easily broken by potty-terror tactics. And there is something else, maybe just a touch of raw fury.

I fear Sam's untrained days are numbered. The enemy has declared that number to be less than 4. Will Sam invent new horrifically unsanitary and distasteful tactics? Only time will tell. One thing is certain, they won't work.

Let us hope, for the sake of the noncombatants here (Pearl and Jared) that this is over quickly.